DALP
DALA PETROLEUM CORP
stock OTC

Well, with a late start with young children, you can probably focus on maxing out Roth, 401k, and SEP-IRA because the 59 1/2 age restriction for withdrawals w/o penalty probably won't come into play. For early retirement this comes a limit in your 401k balance where you probably want to focus on a regular brokerage without age restrictions. For example, if you can't max 401k and save aggressively in a brokerage, you may switch to just get the 401k match and then contribute as much as possible to brokerage to fund an early retirement).
Even with aggressive savings/investment, you're still probably looking at mid to late 50's as the earliest possible retirement anyway. The other good news is that if you've had good income, but haven't been saving, you've still be contributing to social security. Maxing the 32% bend point in social security (currently an approximate avg of $85k per year over 35 years) gives a fairly decent ROI for social security (roughly $3k per month at age 67). It can be hard to hit the $85k average over 35 years. I've been maxing the social security limit since 2012 and I still won't max that 32% bend point until 2027 or 2028. Using the 4% rule (or saving 25x desired withdrawal rate), the $3000/mo in social security is worth $900k in investments ($3k/mo x 12mo/yr x 25). If you have your own social security at a decent level as well ($1500 - $2000 per month?), this already provides a good base even if (probably) social security benefits are reduced to 70% - 80% of current levels by the time GenX retires.
For your situation I would probably:
1) Max employer's 401k match first, 3% - 6% is probably enough.
2) Max the $7k Roth and HSA because these have small annual maximums (maxing 401k annual limit is a big bucket, especially after 50, so you can catch up later). Having a decent sized Roth in retirement is important for having more control over your taxes. Also, if you're income goes up much more you might not be able to make direct Roth contributions (you'll need to use a backdoor Roth or work for a company with a Mega Backdoor Roth)
3) Contribute \*some\* money to 529's for your kids ($1k to $2k per year per kid \*for now\*) to capture time value in these accounts. I think you want to aim to have about 2 years of college saved by the time they start college. They ideally should get 1 year worth of scholarships / grants over the 4 years and potentially work part-time for all 4 years to get the 4th year covered....Kids who have some skin in the game for their college costs aren't going to blow it off as easily.
4) Put the rest into a high-yield savings account for building up a downpayment. Try to save $3000 - $4000 per month here. While you're doing this, research first-time homebuyer programs. A family of 4 in the SF Bay Area making $220k may still qualify for some downpayment assistance programs (SF MOH DALP program for example). A lot of these programs have annual budgets that get exhausted within a few months, so you'll want to know when to apply.
If you have expensive, new, cars you should consider selling them and buying reliable used car(s). Your savings on interest and insurance can be very significant. Limit vacations to low-key resting periods rather than expensive "adventures". Vacations aren't relaxing if you're giving up 1 to 4 months of savings. Camping, road-trips with affordable hotels or even exchanging houses with a friend. If you're in SF Bay Area and have a friend in Los Angeles or Las Vegas, swap houses for a week and see the local sights w/o paying for a hotel.

As your income increases, keep an eye out on phase outs for misc credits and deductions. These limits can adjust the priority of 401k contributions if increasing contributions also saves you other credits / deductions.

Well, with a late start with young children, you can probably focus on maxing out Roth, 401k, and SEP-IRA because the 59 1/2 age restriction for withdrawals w/o penalty probably won't come into play. For early retirement this comes a limit in your 401k balance where you probably want to focus on a regular brokerage without age restrictions. For example, if you can't max 401k and save aggressively in a brokerage, you may switch to just get the 401k match and then contribute as much as possible to brokerage to fund an early retirement).
Even with aggressive savings/investment, you're still probably looking at mid to late 50's as the earliest possible retirement anyway. The other good news is that if you've had good income, but haven't been saving, you've still be contributing to social security. Maxing the 32% bend point in social security (currently an approximate avg of $85k per year over 35 years) gives a fairly decent ROI for social security (roughly $3k per month at age 67). It can be hard to hit the $85k average over 35 years. I've been maxing the social security limit since 2012 and I still won't max that 32% bend point until 2027 or 2028. Using the 4% rule (or saving 25x desired withdrawal rate), the $3000/mo in social security is worth $900k in investments ($3k/mo x 12mo/yr x 25). If you have your own social security at a decent level as well ($1500 - $2000 per month?), this already provides a good base even if (probably) social security benefits are reduced to 70% - 80% of current levels by the time GenX retires.
For your situation I would probably:
1) Max employer's 401k match first, 3% - 6% is probably enough.
2) Max the $7k Roth and HSA because these have small annual maximums (maxing 401k annual limit is a big bucket, especially after 50, so you can catch up later). Having a decent sized Roth in retirement is important for having more control over your taxes. Also, if you're income goes up much more you might not be able to make direct Roth contributions (you'll need to use a backdoor Roth or work for a company with a Mega Backdoor Roth)
3) Contribute \*some\* money to 529's for your kids ($1k to $2k per year per kid \*for now\*) to capture time value in these accounts. I think you want to aim to have about 2 years of college saved by the time they start college. They ideally should get 1 year worth of scholarships / grants over the 4 years and potentially work part-time for all 4 years to get the 4th year covered....Kids who have some skin in the game for their college costs aren't going to blow it off as easily.
4) Put the rest into a high-yield savings account for building up a downpayment. Try to save $3000 - $4000 per month here. While you're doing this, research first-time homebuyer programs. A family of 4 in the SF Bay Area making $220k may still qualify for some downpayment assistance programs (SF MOH DALP program for example). A lot of these programs have annual budgets that get exhausted within a few months, so you'll want to know when to apply.
If you have expensive, new, cars you should consider selling them and buying reliable used car(s). Your savings on interest and insurance can be very significant. Limit vacations to low-key resting periods rather than expensive "adventures". Vacations aren't relaxing if you're giving up 1 to 4 months of savings. Camping, road-trips with affordable hotels or even exchanging houses with a friend. If you're in SF Bay Area and have a friend in Los Angeles or Las Vegas, swap houses for a week and see the local sights w/o paying for a hotel.

As your income increases, keep an eye out on phase outs for misc credits and deductions. These limits can adjust the priority of 401k contributions if increasing contributions also saves you other credits / deductions.